The person labeled “1” is someone who is a casual employee at a Subway. The person labeled “2” is yet another annoying customer.
1: Hi! Welcome to Subway!
2: Come on door!
*The customer is struggling with the front door a bit. *
1: Hello, sir. May I help you?
2: I came from an engineering job and yet I couldn’t figure out that when a door has a push bar, it means to push the door.
1: How can I help you?
2: Uh, lemme just get a whole sub.
1: Okay. What bread would you like it on?
2: What breads do you have?
1: Our breads are displayed in the case, which is right in front of your face.
2: What kind of meat comes on the turkey breast?
2: Umm, actually lemme get a meatball sub. Is it a $5 footlong?
1: No, the meatball sub is not $5. The menu lists what subs are $5 footlongs.
2: Oh. Then I’ll get the Italian BTM.
1: Okay, now may I ask what bread you want it on?
2: I heard flatbread was good…
1: Here is the flatbread, sir.
2: What? It looks disgusting and stale! I don’t want that. Just give me the 9-grain.
1: Okay. Wheat or honey oat?
2: What? No. I said 9-grain!
1: Yes, you did. But do you want the 9-grain wheat or the 9-grain honey oat…?
2: … What’s the difference?
1: Well, sir, one has honey oats and one is wheat bread.
2: Give me the wheat one then.
1: Okay, what cheese do you want? We have cheddar, pepper jack, or white American cheese.
1: I just went over what we have, swiss was not an option.
2: Then give me that white cheese there.
1: What white cheese? The white American?
2: No, that one there.
1: You have to speak up, sir. I can’t see what you are pointing at.
2: Right there!
1: Oh, you meant pepper jack?
1: Okay, I apologize that my eyes seem to malfunction with your order. Would you like the sandwich toasted?
1: Alright, now what vegetables do you want?
*She eyerolls. *
2: Oh, huh? I mean, I want lots of vegetables on it since I want to eat healthy, just give me everything.
1: …very healthy, sir.
*She starts to pile the vegetables onto the sandwich. *
2: No! I didn’t want tomatoes on it. I just wanted lettuce and black olives!
1: I- Sir- … Very well. I guess I have to start over with the big pile of mess you made me create.
2: And I want avocado with it.
1: …and you tell me this now? Even after the vegetables I put on there…? Whatever. Would you like this to be a meal?
1: Okay, then your total is $5.35.
2: What? Why? Wasn’t it supposed to be $5?
1: Well, sir, it seems to me that you live in a world where there’s something called “sales tax”. Please keep this in mind for the next time you go shopping.
2: Fine. Can you break this $100 bill? I know I passed two signs; one on the front door and one near the register that you only accept bills that are $20 or lower.
1: Sir, I can’t do that. There isn’t enough change in the register to break up the $100 bill. Is this a bank to you?
2: But it’s all I have…
1: So, you mean, you left your house today and financially prepared yourself with only a $100 bill and absolutely nothing else?
2: No. I also brought a credit card. And since I’m impatient I’ll just use it.
1: So, you DO treat this place as a bank… Alright, well thank you for coming, and here is your receipt.
2: Oh, wait, can I order 3 other sandwiches too?
1: Just get out…