The Fate for Pharmacy Retail

The person labeled “1” is a customer service agent taking a call from person “2”. The call is as frustrating as you may think it is.

1: Thank you for calling your local pharmacy. This is Dave speaking. How may I help you?

2: I need my refills!

1: Alright, may I get your name please?

2: I said I need my refills! I’m in a hurry!

1: I understand that, but I need your first and last name so that I may check to said which prescriptions need refilled.

2: But I’m in pain! You should already know what I take.

1: I do not have that information with me. I have more customers than just you, ma’am. Just give me your first and last name.

2: Fine. Harold, Jane. Last then first.

1: Alright thank you. … Hmm… I do not see any current available refills for your prescriptions.

2: What?! That’s impossible! I ordered refills last week!

1: If that were the case, I would see some information about that. But I do not see that here in your file. I would have to call your doctor to see which of these needs refilled.

2: No. Don’t call my doctor! Just refill them already!

1: Just for your information I cannot refill them until I call the doctor for information on whether the prescriptions need refilled or not.

2: But I need them now! I’m in pain!

1: Once again, I cannot refill your prescriptions until I get a confirmation from your doctor whether you need them refilled or not. Is there anything else I can do for you, miserably?

2: Actually yes. I need another type of medication. I checked all the other locations and they were out of it.

1: Really? Was it prescribed by a doctor or was it over the counter?

2: Yes, it was over the counter.

1: What was the name of the medication, ma’am?

2: Ox… Oxy…? Oxycontin? Is that what you call it? I think I need that.

1: Hmm. Let me check if we have that, please hold.

*Person 1 puts the call on hold. *

1: (I’m pretending to look at the stock. I’m not going to do anything for this druggie.)

1: No, ma’am. I’m afraid we are all out as well.

2: Really? Well, I guess I can just check more locations…

1: No, ma’am. You won’t. As I’ll have to call the other locations within a 10 miles radius for their information. I’ll have to warn them that you’ll be call and/or coming and ask them to refuse to do your service.

2: But I- wait, what?

1: You heard me. I’m not allowing customers like you into our businesses who abuse drugs and collect unemployment for a living. Have a good day.

*Person 1 hangs up. *

1: (Please remember that we do not want to support your life of abusing drugs. We are humans, just like you.)